ON FORGETTING
Forget org : not remember, fail to recollect, not recall, overlook
Forgetting verb
-Oxford English Dictionary (…err…20...some edition)
One look at the above synonym, and the unsuspecting reader would get the idea that this is another run of the mill verb. A closer examination, however, reveals the true nature of this seemingly harmless word. A common human trait, fallout of too much workload, low prioritization…analysis on these lines would be an understatement. Classifying forgetting as a life changing experience and as a lifestyle altogether would not be an exaggeration though. Billions across the world are affected both people and money.
It would be unfair to conclude an argument on a topic like this without venturing more on the life and times of the people who run the show – the forgetful. Personally, the past few months have been quite tough and time and again I’ve wondered if I’m the only one who “forgets a lot” as has been given to me by my well-wishers . I, for one, continue to disagree. I have given a lot of thought to the “accusation”. Serious contemplations coupled with some deep observations later, I am of the firm belief that there is a lot of talent out there giving me serious competition. To buttress my claims, I have tried to classify people according to the degree of forgetfulness they possess with the magnanimity of the effect of their innocent quirk.
The Six Sigma Black Belt: One in a million! Very difficult to come across . A person with a virtually impeccable record when it comes to forgetting something. Very difficult to come across in today’s world. People of this pedigree are known to go any length for maintaining their track record. They have a to-do list for almost everything and anything on earth. Every single day is remembered as someone’s birthday/anniversary/Mother’s Day/Thanksgiving. Such people make good secretaries, personal assistants, boyfriends and the like.
What they forget: As the official Six Sigma definition states: 3.4 mistakes in a million opportunities.
After effects: Quality time with loved ones, appreciation for beautiful things around and original ideas. These are some things that get affected in the long run.
The Quiz Wiz: Masterminds! History, mythology, sports, movies, literature, science, biz world-they have a ready answer to any googly coming their way. A common bespectacled lot which dots schools and colleges. With Complan and Kellogs around, we tend to have more of these wunderkinds today.
What they forget: Name of Carla Bruni’s pussy (who’s she?) or clause no 5(b) of the Indo-US 123 Nuclear deal or name of the first black Wimbledon champ …actually they know all of these and maybe more, but one odd time…they forget.
After effects: They are the first of the fallibles. Mistakes can cost them a quiz title or two. Good business opportunity for ophthalmologists and nutrition & health-care companies though.
The Rote Master: And you thought there is no substitute to hard work, well…think again. These happy-go-luckies enjoy and have fun throughout the year and come exam time, they start burning the
What they forget: A forgotten formula for an examinee to willful promises of BSP (bijli-sadak-pani) for the politicians.
After effects: From loss of academic year to poor national development, the after-effects are large scale, diverse and long term.
The Forgetful: The real show stealers. Can hardly remember anything. From leaving milk boiling,
tap running over , filing timely returns, leaving umbrella at the restaurant, to taking medicines in time …their range is diverse.
Forgetting a birthday/anniversary is a cakewalk. Confusing names of people, places and common
series of events is another art they pride themselves in. Thanks to the mobile revolution, their
limitation has been checked by the “Reminder” and the “Contacts” list facility.
What they forget: Actually one should ask what they remember!They get feelings; something a la hallucination. From losing one’s way in open fields to forgetting where they parked their car to forgetting where is their partner sitting in a multiplex to the eternal “what day is today?”.
After effects: Sky rocketing sales of gizmos with generous and sweet reminder facilities, good business for counselors and self-help book writers (their constant “reminder” that the readers need to improve and the panacea is their “wonderful” book, actually works on the Forgetful) .Hard time for spouses though who have been granted the the exclusive rights to a life –long companionship of such illustrious better halves.
The Forgetful 2.0: Remember Memento or its Indian version Ghajini. Yes Anterograde Amnesia. Aamir Khan brought this “in” thing into our lives with his weird hair-do made complete by a prominent asymmetrical partition going right across the pate. The 2.0 is a time bound version of the good, old Forgetful and comes with that extra glam factor.
What they forget: 15 minutes is too short for lesser mortals like us to actually figure out where we kept our specs and watching such people really makes us swoon. Actually they don’t forget to change the batteries of their 1 minute-shot cameras or for that matter the repetition of their crunch when they hit the gym. Amazing, isn’t it?
After effects: Such people are good to be enemies with, since their forgive and “forget” attitude helps. Movies about this illustrious lot can rake a lot of moolah for the producers and booming business for Habib’s .
With an exhaustive analysis like that, and the respective inferences drawn thereof, I hope to pacify my well wishers and wish they can come to terms with such a harmless handicap as mine. On a serious note, in this age of “liberalization” when people still manage to forget merit over ethnicity, truth over kickbacks, feelings over hormones, self-respect over sycophancy, I think my habit can still be classified as a lesser crime.
Finally, a bit of good news for for my friends who are tired of my forgetful ways - yours truly has been making conscious efforts to correspond with Baba Ramdev for his advice as to how many repetitions of ‘anulom-vilom’or ‘kapalbhati’ or any Ayurvedic concoction might help. See guys, I’m trying.
- Prabha Shankar Ojha
PS: I still care to take note of how are my loved ones doing, how much tax is being deducted from my salary, how gorgeous Jessica Biel looks in her new flick or for that matter what’s showing tonight on HBO. No, wait! Tonight ...is…um…that movie with the huge liner…umm…that sinks in the end….umm…ok, forget it!
